Disclaimer: The Mr Photon Chronicles, is a fictional story and is not a lesson in physics! Narrative is created to explore some interesting and theoretical relations in nature through their personification and (attempted) humour.
For the last few weeks, a frenzy has broken out in the universe with the news that Mr Photon is bent on retiring. We have an exclusive interview with Mrs Photon about this terrifying event and we chat a bit about the life of Mr and Mrs Photon.
Q: So thank you Mrs Photon for seeing us today. We know you have little to do currently in the universe’s affairs, what with Mr Photon being the most important and all. How are you taking his retirement news?
A: [she breaks down in tears]. It’s awful. All he does is laze about in front of the star, soaking up all the light. Its so hard to move around becuase all the other particles have already started loosing their electromagnetic spark. They can’t see. It so awful. [further weeping]
Q: Mrs Photon, some of our readers are new to this universe. Could you elaborate on how you fit into this whole picture. I mean if Mr Photon runs the show, what is the need for you? What do you do exactly?
A: Yes, well initially at the start of the universe, we were supposed to share the workload, you see. Oops, sorry i didn’t mean rub salt on your wound [she pauses, wipes virtual tears from her virtual face]. Anyway, he, that is Mr Big Shot Photon, didn’t want that. He liked things asymmetrical. I tell you it was the influence of that Matter-antimatter debacle. Anyways thats another story. He decided for both of us that things were going to be asymmetric, he and our children will look after the majority of the universe and i will be left to act only as the black hole eveporation.
Q: Sorry to interrupt, but what’s the black hole evaporation?
A: you know what it is. it’s that ruddy hawking radiation. It’s all frekkin’ theoretical. In the human perspective i don’t even exists yet. Can you believe that. He gets all the fame and i have to sit on the edge of a some black hole and wait for humanity to evolve far enough to be detected. I live such a pitiful existence… [more crying]…[after further 5 lightminutes, she finally stops]
Sorry for all this crying. But it seems i will have to take up the affairs of the universe now with him retiring and all. And i don’t know how he kept things in check. You know, there are conservation laws that need to be taken care of. If any violation occurs, the repercussions can even be felt by our brothers and sisters in the mutliverses. [she covers her virtual face with her two virtual hands] Oh no! I can’t even imagine what they will say at The Big Crunching Reunion. They will laugh at how Mr and Mrs Photon failed!
Q: Ookaay then. Aaannnywaaaay [rolling his eyes], So let me ask about this Matter-Antimatter debacle?
A: I hate Matter. Its all her fault. Poor Antimatter fell in love with Dark Matter and wanted to marry her. But Matter wouldn’t have any of it. You see we were made with strict instructions and we had to follow the law, all fermions and bosons and… er.. [some pause]
Q [questioner interrupts] sorry… and what exactly? Is there anything other than fermions and bosons?
A: well you’r not really allowed to know their names. But there are the secret particle agency at highers spins. One day maybe… you might see them. But i can’t say more, those guys will annihilate me if i spoke of them any further! [at the same moment there was a chill in the virtual air, as if a ghost particle had just walked through us, both Mrs Photon and I shuddered!]
Q: okay i’ll curb my enthusiams please continue.
A: Yes well, as i said, we were all made with strict laws. So poor old Antimatter had to leave his beloved dark matter. But as punishment of defiance, it was decided their relationship will be asymmetrical one from then onwards. it was an awful case. It created great schisms in the quantum fields of the universe. It induced similar thoughts and ideas in all other particles that came after that time. Asymmetry! I tell you that was the reason why Mr Photon decided to do what he did to me! I blame Matter. If only she was a bit more understanding. Little of course does she know about the dark energy, the love child of Antimatter and Dark matter. In fact no one has ever heard from dark matter or its energy since then. Its believed they have thrived ever since in secret, but you know, not even i have ever seen them. It was all such a long time ago, sometimes it seems like a dream. Mr Photon, of course knows. No one has yet asked him nicely about dark matter. You know he can’t lie. If you ask him anything he has to tell the truth… [ she continues for another lighthour with this moaning, in the meanwhile the questionnaire goes off to observe the birth of a star, the death of the same star, the formation of a black hold and then comes back for the final word]
Q. Well thank you Mrs Photon for your time. I am sure our readers have learnt a new word or two about the universe.
To the readers keep a look out for our next post with an exclusive interview with Mr Neutrino (aka Mr Tachyon-Wannabe) and his take on all this and more!
Keep coolly reflecting blue!